I definitely want to employ my extensive internet sleuthing skills to find the "novel-length story that brought characters and plots from Susan Cooper’s The Dark Is Rising series to the setting of Harry Potter." That sounds like genius!!
And in the spirit of cool fanfic melds, I have decided to share the plots of the top ten fanfic plays I want to write before I die.
10. The cast of 21 Jump Street is stranded in the Land of the Lost world, where the LOTL kids (Will and Holly) have massive drug problems. Kirk and Spock from Star Trek (engaged in a torrid homosexual affair) beam down and they all try desperately to get the kids off neolithic heroin. The Peter DeLuise character (Penhall) gets eaten by the T-Rex.Okay, now you entertain me with fanfic plays you will write. That is what the comments field is for. Go on.
9. Alice's diner meets the plots of Jacqueline Lichtenberg's Sime/Gen sci fi/fantasy novels. The diner survives a nuclear holocaust and then Mel and Flo sprout tentacles from their forearms and chase Vera and Alice around the diner, desperate for their "Gen Juice."
8. Epic trilogy using the ensemble from the sitcom "Amen," where they are all cult members instead of decent church-goers. And someone is carrying an alien parasite that they must find and destroy before it devours them all.
7. Complete re-do of the Bionic Woman, set in 14th century Europe, where the Bionic Woman is a golem animated by an alchemist and hunting and killing crusaders.
6. The 7nth Heaven family re-envisioned as the Lost in Space Family. With Hannibal Lecter as the Dr. Zachary Smith stowaway character and the ship is run by Hal from 2001. Boy, are they in trouble, now.
5. The casts of Battlestar Gallactica (old and new series) find the Deep Space Nine Station, Miles
Vorkosigan from Lois McMaster Bujold’s on-going opera novels is on the station searching for his clone twin, through a time warp thingie all the Star Wars characters show up from all movies, the line marriage members from Robert Heinlein’s The Moon is a Harsh Mistress show up and bring Spock into their marriage, Darth Vader attacks the station, C3Po and R2D2 arrive and build Robby the Robot as a droid sex toy, and then Ming the Merciless arrives-defeats Darth Vader-and turns the station into a casino. Part of a science fiction trilogy with the previous play. All to be performed by two actors who play every role.
4. Complete rip-off of the world created in Esther Friesner’s Psalms of Herod combined with the cast and environs of the TV series Happy Days. The Fonz kills Mr. Cunningham to take over his marriage to Mrs. Cunningham and winnows out (kills) Ritchie, Ralph and the other guy. Also
brings Joanie and Leather Tuscadero into his alpha marriage. Mork from Mork and Mindy shows up and morphs into one of the aliens from Alien. Ends in a big bloodbath as these things generally do. Third play in the sci fi fanfic trilogy.
3. The Eight is Enough cast as a persecuted Mormon family around 1870 when the Morel Act is passed in Congress in an attempt to abolish polygamy. The Big Love cast shows up in a covered wagon and the girls from the EiE family are gradually seduced into becoming Big Love wives. We see excerpts from the writings of the youngest EiE son, who is dramatizing stories from Orson
Scott Card’s The Folk of the Fringe collection. We discover a long, lost EiE sibling who has been locked in a closet his whole life. This one will be a musical for criminally insane children.
2. The Falcon Crest Channing/Gioberti and the Dynasty Carrington families are engaged in a bloody feud for control of the Channing/Gioberti vineyards. Murder rape, infanticide--
these people will stop at nothing in their mad quest for wine monopoly! The women in the cast will all be wearing dresses designed by members of the audience, who compete in Project Runway-style audience-participation segments to design and build formal evening gowns with thrift store clothes and bedazzlers.
1. Willy Wonka is running the cathouse from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Only the whorehouse is in Narnia. Customers who find a golden ticket in their prostitute get to journey through a magic wardrobe and end up building a free love commune in Walnut Grove next to the Laura Ingall’s family from Little House on the Prairie. This a sex education play meant to tour